There’s been some confusion lately for those who glance at headlines but do not read articles. To clarify, at this time, no strip clubs or adult bookstores are opening in Oxford. The actual news is that the city’s aldermen and mayor, looking ahead, voted into place a new ordinance that places restrictions and on such businesses—including prohibiting the serving of alcohol and requiring them to exist in special overlay districts—in case they may seek to set up shop in Oxford.
So, don’t worry your pretty little heads. The only shiny poles in town right now are those at Oxford’s fire stations, and the guys sliding down them are wearing very heavy clothing. Still, the very discussion of the subject lately has opened the floodgates for fun.
A couple days ago, as noted by the always worthwhile Red Cup Rebellion, #OxfordStripClubNames was one of the top three trending topics on Twitter—nationally. I encourage you to check it out on Twitter.
I couldn’t resist lobbing a few of my own suggestions for names for a would-be house of bare dancing. Here they go—at least the ones arguably fit for print. Ask me about the others over a beer:
- Motee ‘n’ A
- James Nude Center
- Nipplejohn’s Grocery
- Clear Creep Landing
- Big Bad Drink Minimum
- Yonder Strips Your Orphan
- Intruder in the Bust
- Newd’s
- Sardis DAMN!
- The Leer-ic
- The Runaway G-String
- The Shave Colonel Reb Foundation
- Blacklight in August
- The Silicone Faun
- Bareships
- The Firm (fine as it is)
- Rebel Racks
- City Grossery
- City Disrobery
- The End of All Dignity
- Cheeky Faulkner’s
- Skincannon Hall
- Pole Miss
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— Tad Wilkes, tad.wilkes@hottytoddy.com
