Domestic Violence Victims Join Forces to Raise Awareness

By Mary Liz King and Morgan Gusella
for HottyToddy.com

Family Crisis Services of Northwest Mississippi is hosting a silent walk tonight at 5 p.m. that starts at the parking lot at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church. The walk is to remember victims of domestic violence, and participants are encouraged to wear purple. The event will take place rain or shine.

Photo from Family Crisis Services of Northwest Mississippi, Inc. Facebook page.

“The reason it’s a silent walk is that it’s for those victims who can’t speak for themselves anymore,” said Mary-Margaret Chaffe, the event coordinator. “We want them to know the community is behind them.”

The nearest domestic violence shelter from Oxford is S.A.F.E., Inc. in Tupelo, which is about 45 minutes away.

“In the beginning, a lot of people did not know our facility existed, but as people are learning more and more about it, it’s becoming a bigger resource,” S.A.F.E., Inc. case manager Madison Caver said.

S.A.F.E., Inc. offers inpatient as well as outpatient resources to Tupelo, Oxford and many other surrounding communities.

“We can take in individuals who need a safe space, and we have counseling services as well as a court advocate who can work with people at our facility,” she said. “One of the best things I think can be offered to these victims, besides counseling, is having a court advocate who is able to make them feel safer and make the court process a less traumatizing experience if they need to press charges or obtain a protection order.”

Caver said awareness surrounding domestic violence is lacking because in the past, no one has wanted to talk about it, and that is what keeps victims from coming forward.

“It’s just a topic a lot of people have been hesitant to acknowledge, but it is becoming more common everywhere. The more people that are talking, the more help that can be provided,” she said.

She says the month of October is so important to domestic violence awareness because it is when so much work and advocacy is done surrounding the subject.

“There is a sort-of rededication to increasing the conversation about domestic violence, and that is really important,” she said.

Local domestic violence awareness efforts have gained traction through national organizations and programs responding and providing resources to domestic violence victims.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence was founded in September of 1978 and aims to create a culture where domestic violence is not tolerated. To do this, the coalition has created seminars, domestic violence hotlines, and even scholarship opportunities.

“Our main campaign, which is #SurvivorsSpeak, is an opportunity to give survivors their voice back but also learn what we can do differently,” Ruth Glenn, President of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence said. “Communities are not aware of how bad this problem is, and without their support, we will never make a change.”

Scholarship recipient and domestic violence survivor Nina Hagen-Helme had the opportunity to attend an NCADV conference and tell her own story to fellow survivors.

“I was married to a violent, narcissistic abuser for 16 years,” she said. “And I finally got out in 2003.”

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), one in three women has experienced some form of physical violence. In Hagen-Helme’s case, she experienced not only physical violence but also mental and sexual violence as well.

“I received a traumatic brain injury (TBI) from his abuse, and he hit me in places that could not be seen because he knew exactly what he was doing,” said Hagen-Helme.

Victims of domestic violence are at higher risk for developing physical and mental health effects as well as addiction to drugs and alcohol.

Hagen-Helme’s life spiraled out of control after her abuse, and she began using drugs. She wanted to leave the relationship but feared for her life.

“After I knew that I was done I had no more fear inside of me,” she said. “We had a gun in the house, so one day I grabbed it, loaded it and brought it out to my husband. I told him to hold his hand out. I then gave him the gun and told him he could shoot me or not, but I was walking out that door because he already killed me a long time ago.”

“I tell my story because if there is one person out there that I can save, that would make my life worth living,” Hagen-Helme said.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline number is available for anonymous, confidential calling 24/7 at 1 (800)799-7233 (SAFE).