The Mom Next Door: Teaching Kids About Perfection

I’m the mom who wrote the recent post on what back to school is like for three homeschooled kids and their baby doll for HottyToddy.com. The picture for that post started a conversation – a column on motherhood and homeschooling.

I wrote another post and my lovely computer lost it. It’s probably a good thing because your second or third draft is usually your best. And I think that speaks to today’s topic – you can’t be a perfect mom (or dad).

I’d like to share a moment from my life this week that I think defines a mom’s job – the example that your life is.

My son who we call “Man Cub” is creepy smart. He’s quite intense and a huge perfectionist. He worries about “what happens if you get answers wrong” and he’s only five! A typical conversation with him is usually a line of questioning that would put any prosecutor to shame.

We joke around our house that he had fun once and it was awful. He’s an old soul.

But a moment in our week that really stands out is one that I’ll remember the rest of my life. I’d recently read him the nursery rhyme about the old woman who lived in a shoe.

Man Cub and I were making coffee on Tuesday morning. He loves to watch the coffee maker drip.

“My son who we call “Man Cub” is creepy smart. He’s quite intense and a huge perfectionist.” Photo provided.

He asked me while he intently examined the stream of coffee, “What happens if I make a mistake?”

I said, “You’ll learn something.”

He responded with, “What will I learn?”

I gave him an example. “Remember when I didn’t the marble run together right last night? It wouldn’t work.”

He said, “You didn’t do it right. You messed it up and we had to start over. You’re fired!”

(He’s kind of into Boss Baby right now.)

I said, “Sure, I didn’t do it right. But I do a lot of things right. I’m not perfect, but I love you.”

He said, “You’re a good mom. And not like the old woman in the shoe.”

My heart swelled and I thanked him for validating me. It really helps to hear that sometimes. “You’re a good mom.”

I hope you ladies (and dads) know you’re doing something right when you step aside and have these little moments with your kids. I hope you know that you’re more than the “world’s okayest mom” slogan you sport on your t-shirt.

To these kids, you’re the world. You’re their safe place. You matter more to them than Minecraft and friends and being right (even if it doesn’t feel like it).

When your kids lament your boundaries, they’re really thanking you for your protection. When they don’t like you in the moment, they really don’t like that they got caught doing, but they love that you love them enough to stand in their way sometimes.

Like I told my son, you don’t have to do it all right. You just have to do it with love and be there. That’s what matters.

Amanda Brandon is a freelance writer and homeschooling mother and living in Water Valley, Miss., with her husband Warren and their three children. She writes on professional mothering, travel, and raising outside-box-kids at her blog, A Work of God and shares homeschooling and “Cute Little Baby” updates frequently on Instagram. She is also currently writing a book on what it takes for mothers to work at home and thrive. A graduate of the Meek School of Journalism at Ole Miss, she has worked on numerous book projects and corporate communications for niche software companies, nonprofit consultants and church communications publishers.