Bonnie Brown: Life Seems to be Racing by so Quickly

Life seems to be racing by so quickly now that I’m older. I remember that as a child, summers were long and seemed to go on as long as the school year. There were picnics, playing with friends, swimming, riding bikes, the list went on and on. Yes, there were chores too like working in the vegetable garden, helping with housework. I don’t remember minding the heat and to be honest, it didn’t seem as hot back then. But I digress . . .
I didn’t know it at the time, but early on, I mentally compiled a “bucket list by 25.” It was pretty ambitious and a very practical list centered on the basics which included what my house would look like, how many children I would have, what my career would be. It was very precise. That’s the type of person I am. As I aged and those practical things unfolded seemingly almost without planning, I began to think about the larger picture, bigger goals, particularly since not one thing on my earlier list turned out as I envisioned.
Like most parents, I was more concerned about my children and their goals and outcomes as defined by me. Only when my children were “launched” toward their adult life with their spouses did I begin to be aware of the desire to formulate a plan for the next phase of my life.
I wasn’t interested in learning another language, learning to play an instrument, go skydiving, learning to golf, or running a marathon. I am so boring! I wanted—what did I want? Was I to be bucket list-less? A failure at a flight of imagination?
I knew when it was time for me to retire. It was just that gut feeling that I should do it. I always thought I would retire when I had another plan in place but that just wasn’t the case. My husband encouraged me by saying to take the plunge and see what happens next. So I did. And sure enough, I got an opportunity for a job very different from what I had done. And it was perfect! Did this “new” path divert me from formulating my bucket list? No, it did not.
I knew that my husband Tom was keen to travel. I was always the reluctant traveler because I felt “guilty” to be on a vacation and missing out on things at work. But with my new gig, I was not as accountable as I had been in my earlier jobs. I had always wanted to go on a cruise but Tom didn’t seem to share my enthusiasm. However, he did concede and we did our first cruise. It was fabulous! Tom enjoyed it a lot. If there was a lecture, he was there; if they played bingo, he was there; if there was an art auction, he was there. By the end of the cruise, he needed a vacation to relax from all his activities.
This new adventure set in motion plans for more cruises and travel. I was close to formulating a bucket list! Tom and I traveled out west with good friends Joe and Jeanette Byrd. Tom has always been the fearless explorer and when we were in Arches National Park north of Moab, Utah, he climbed out into Delicate Arch. I was not as adventurous. But on a return trip a couple of years later, even though I hadn’t planned to do so, I too, climbed out into Delicate Arch. So I suppose I could consider this a postscript to my slowly-developing bucket list.

Although I hadn’t formalized a bucket list, during our travels I got to do lots that were bucket-list worthy. I got to see the Northern Lights; I got to see Iceland and Greenland; I got to go to Greece and Rome; I got to visit Monte Carlo; I’ve seen (and heard) Big Ben; I’ve been through the Panama Canal twice; I’ve been to Alaska 4 times (helicopter trip to glacier).
Other things that I feel I can check off my bucket list are: become more confident; create a family tree (work in progress); prepare a will; fly first class; visit Stonehenge; be a blessing to someone each day in some way (work in progress). One of the most moving experiences in my life is that I have been present for the birth of each grandchild and shared this experience with my husband and the other grandparents. What joy! Unforgettable!
My list of things left to do are many but I feel like I’ve checked off quite a few things that I never imagined I’d get to do. I have accepted that I need to axe some of my “to-do” lists and think more about my bucket list.
This excerpt from Erma Bombeck, an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until her passing in 1996, says it all: “Stop sweating the small stuff. Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what. Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us. Let’s think about what we’ve been blessed with. And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally. “
How full is your bucket list? Make it a priority. Life is not a dress rehearsal!

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Bonnie Brown is a retired staff member of the University of Mississippi. She most recently served as Mentoring Coordinator for the Ole Miss Women’s Council for Philanthropy.
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For questions or comments, email hottytoddynews@gmail.com.