Bonnie Brown: Knee Replacements, Lint Bombs and Brain-Fog Blunders

My retirement a couple of years ago had a rather unusual beginning. I had made the decision to retire, only to become plagued with knee pain that continued for several months.  This was not the way I envisioned my ideal retirement plan! I went to the doctor, who referred me to an orthopedist. The orthopedist ordered an MRI and, when I returned to his office for the results, he announced that I needed total knee replacement. I could not have been any more surprised if he had told me I was pregnant with twins.
The surgery was scheduled, the outcome was successful, and recovery was a process, to be sure. I completed physical therapy and declared myself “commerce ready,” so I began to get out to do errands, go shopping and such. But the true indicator that I was “retired” and physically whole again was a lunch date on Monday with my friends. I was so happy to be social again—lunch was such fun and the very best therapy! I felt so grateful for these wonderful friends!
My return appointment to the orthopedist was scheduled for the next day. So Tuesday morning, I was in a buzz to get ready. I was also making a mental grocery list and thinking about what I might prepare for dinner. I needed to check the pantry to see if I had a particular item, so I halted my getting-ready routine and headed from the bathroom into the kitchen.
Along the way, I spied what appeared to be a large piece of lint, so, of course, I scooped it up and, while depositing it into the trash can, I wondered how it came to be there. It is only my husband and me at home now—our two sons are grown and have families of their own. How did the lint get there? When our sons were young and always getting into something, I had asked myself many times, “Who made this mark on the wall? What is this mess on the floor?” Should I blame the mysterious lint bomb on the dog?
I returned to the bathroom to continue getting ready while I continued mentally compiling my grocery list. Suddenly, I realized I had forgotten to look in the pantry, so distracted was I by the alien lint, so back to the kitchen I went. Yes, I had the item and returned to get into the shower.
I turned the knob and, to my horror, realized the water was off! Now I wasn’t willing to go see the doctor, and more importantly, let the doctor see me, without having a bath. I dashed to the garage and found a gallon of drinking water saved just for such an unexpected water outage. I carefully splashed around in the basin as efficiently as I could.
There was a decision to be made. Due to the knee replacement surgery, I hadn’t shaved my legs in weeks. I began to drip water everywhere as I carefully completed the task of shaving the affected leg, being careful not to rake the razor across the still-new incision. I was feeling quite accomplished.
Then it occurred to me: What if the doctor wanted to look at my other knee? I decided to take the chance that he wouldn’t. 
I arrived at the doctor’s office well ahead of my scheduled appointment and signed in. I was happy to see there were very few patients in the waiting room. The receptionist called my name, and I approached, wondering what further information she could need. She politely asked me what time my appointment was, and I told her 10:15. She looked a bit puzzled, then announced that my doctor did not schedule appointments on Tuesday since that was his day for surgeries.
I told her I had even gotten a reminder call for the appointment, and she kindly asked what day had I gotten the reminder call. Thursday, I said. She said that Thursday reminder calls were for Monday appointments.
Seems I had missed my Monday appointment and had shaved my legs in cold water while grousing about the abrupt water outage all for nothing! But I smiled when I remembered what a delightful lunch date I had with my dear friends the day before.
Thankfully, the nice receptionist re-scheduled me for the next day. I left the office and mulled over my “brain-fog” mistake of missing my appointment and proceeded to the grocery store to gather the items for dinner. When I got home, I put my groceries away.
A few hours later, as I began preparations for dinner, I realized I was missing the main ingredient for dinner. Another brain-fog blunder!
So when life gives you lemons, there’s always take-out!

 

Bonnie Brown is a retired staff member of the University of Mississippi. She most recently served as Mentoring Coordinator for the Ole Miss Women’s Council for Philanthropy.