Headlines
Decorating Leads To Conflict; Reader Responds To ‘Posh Ole Miss Dorm Rooms’
Last week HottyToddy.com published “Posh Ole Miss Dorms,” asking readers their thoughts on whether the dorm designers were the incoming freshmen or, rather, their parents.
After a hectic move-in day, one reader speaks out.
“I can tell you that in one case, it was mom-driven. The mom wanted her daughter’s room in every blog possible to highlight and bring attention to the room. Why? She also didn’t communicate with her daughter’s roommate and mother about the decor and plan for the room. The mom took down the panel over her daughter’s roommate’s closet and replaced it with one that matched her daughter’s. She then cut the girl’s panel, hemmed it and hung it under the sink to cover the plumbing. The mom replaced the girl’s towels in the bathroom to match her daughter’s, then put the roommate’s towels on the floor. All of this, without permission. The mom moved her daughter’s desk in front of the window, blocking it. This is used as a fire exit. She also put up black out curtains for the blinds to basically never be opened to let natural light in. The mom brought in all that without running it past the roommate of her daughter. The roommate is in [an Ole Miss organization and had obligations until 11 p.m.] and came back to her dorm room to this.
“Very disappointing and sad to say the least. Does it look nice? Yes. Is it over-the-top and something the roommate should’ve been involved in the decision making process? Yes. The mom did all of this to her daughter’s room so she could ‘Keep up with the Jones’ with no regard for her daughter’s roommate. The roommate was forced to move out and find another room because, needless to say, a disagreement occurred. Even though the girl found the room, she had to move out because it was too much. It caused a major fight between the moms to the point where the mom that decorated the room told the other mom her daughter could go live in Stewart and sent her a screenshot of the application instructions.
“I appreciate what people do to these girls’ rooms to make it look less of a cinder block environment. Especially, when all are on board. But when you railroad your roommate to the point the roommate has to move out two days before classes start, that is a selfish, self-centered thing to do. The girl was crying and upset, and her mom had to drive eight hours to help her daughter move out. The decorating mom has literally posted pictures of the room in every blog and publication she an find. It’s tacky at best.
“I am not a mom in this situation. I am, however, a good friend of the sweet girl that had to move. I am also a 1988 graduate of Ole Miss. The girl’s parents didn’t go to Ole Miss and apparently didn’t get the memo that we don’t treat each other that way. I have told several of my friends who are at Ole Miss what happened, and they are horrified. I know this is not the norm. But things like this, apparently, so happen when the moms get involved with a competitive spirit as their drive, versus making a comfortable and amicable environment for their girls.”
Share your thoughts with us. Has decorating Ole Miss dorms become over-the-top or does it remain fabulous?
Randall Haley is the managing editor for HottyToddy.com. She can be reached at randall.haley@hottytoddy.com.
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Myra
August 23, 2016 at 3:54 pm
Every year, room mates move out with in a week. Probably gonna happen anyways. The dorm shown doesn’t have sinks in the rooms, so it wasn’t there. All those silly girls need to do is let crazy Mom get the photo, give it a day, take down what they don’t want and return to what they want. Boys learn this fast. Smile, accept, laugh and re-do after crazy moms go home!
Tammy
August 23, 2016 at 4:29 pm
Some of my most pleasant memories were made while a resident of Stewart Hall. My room mate and I met on move in day. We did call each other prior to that day to coordinate who would bring the tv, fridge, and microwave so there would not be two taking up space. We learned to compromise and respect each other in those days with our uncoordinated bedding (that appealed to each of us individually). I think the over-the-top control of the decorator mom could rob her daughter of important character development experiences. Sad.
Tracie
August 23, 2016 at 6:45 pm
The mom should have left the decorating to the girls- it’s their room! While I personally love the idea of coordinating linens and decorations, I would never force it on my child, let alone someone else’s. I find the behavior of this mother despicable, and feel very badly for the girl who moved out. That said, she is clearly better off far from that family. Sorry…not sorry!
Me
August 23, 2016 at 6:47 pm
There has been decorating for years, and I’ve never heard of such. But matching is pretty standard, and almost every window on campus has a desk under/in front of it. (You can stand on the desk to unlock and climb out.) Yes, the one mom should’ve asked. Sounds like both sides went overboard and a split would’ve come sooner or later. (And I’ve never heard of an ole miss dorm w a sink in the room – either as a student myself or in my child’s tenure. Could be a miscommunicated story.)
Teresa
August 23, 2016 at 8:05 pm
I believe this mom owns a store in downtown Ocean Springs which sells these things. She also hired out as a decorator. It was advertisement for her.
Gayle Henry
August 23, 2016 at 8:30 pm
Wonder if this story is true, or did it happen at State where they have sinks in the dorm rooms? Ole Miss does not. Usually the girls or girls’ mothers get together to coordinate colors. Some of these rooms are really over the top and nicer than most parents’ master bedrooms. When I went to Ole Miss we just coordinated our bed spreads. Now they bring in decorators. I think it truly is more for the moms than for the girls. Hard to believe a mother could be this cruel.
Courtney H
August 23, 2016 at 8:37 pm
The newer dorms all have sinks in the rooms.
Kenneth McDade
August 23, 2016 at 9:02 pm
Helicopter parents
Joyce Whittington
August 23, 2016 at 9:34 pm
Will be interesting to see how these little darlings perform without Mama around. I still remember the one that was found living in her daughter’s room “to make sure she got up in time to go to class.” Yep, living in the dorm. Doing her laundry. Getting her up. Sleeping on an air mattress.
M Reeves
August 23, 2016 at 10:29 pm
Back years ago some of us came to school in the 80’s and with only what you could fit in your car. Comforters did not match and I still had one of the best roomies ever! Mom never saw my room and I made it just fine!
Shellye
August 23, 2016 at 10:59 pm
Crosby has several that have their own bathrooms.
Jacque
August 24, 2016 at 1:30 am
There are sinks in many of the dorm rooms now, the newer buildings, the rooms have their own bathrooms and no concrete block walls, drywall!?
Momma
August 24, 2016 at 7:10 am
Tennesseean here. I know exactly who the mother in question is, and honestly this doesn’t surprise me one bit. She has quite the reputation up here; let’s just say it’s none-too-pleasant and actually fairly unsavory. I heard she wanted to get an apartment near Oxford and live there part time away from the rest of her family (Oxford is about 3+ hours away) so she could be by her daughter, or rather hover over her daughter! I don’t think that ended up happening, yet anyway. The daughter is a victim here too.
On behalf of all Tenesseans, I apologize for her behavior. We don’t “treat each other that way” either, and we love our Mississippi neighbors. Hotty Toddy and Go Vols! ❤️
UM advocate
August 24, 2016 at 8:12 am
Where do you get the notion that we don’t treat each other that way? In my experience, Ole Miss families, students, fans and supporters are the most narcissistic, whining, self-centered people anywhere in the country. Their sense of entitlement is thoroughly unsurpassed, and their arrogance and condescension is widely recognized throughout the south. Would this sort of problem have occurred at Georgia? Arkansas? Of course not. Only Ole Miss people treat each other this way.
Lotty
August 24, 2016 at 8:28 am
I think this over the top decorating your College Students personal space is out of Place!! You are a over bearing control freak.. And trying to live thru your child. It really isn’t the question if their is a sink or not but that this girls mother won’t let go… And clearly she’s a want to be decorator advertising thru social media.. I’m sorry Lady but your daughter has to grow up cut the strings release and let go. The best part of moving g in to the dorm is the parents bring help mi e in and go home. And then the kids can put their stamp o. Their and I say their personal living space… Clearly this over doing the rooms has gotten so out of hand trying to keep up with the Jones.. Let me say unless you have a lot of money to back you then you better look around.. As we do have so many here that do. We need to remember lets get back to why they came here to learn and get an Education.. Not get the a prize for the Dorn decor. This Mom has a lot more to worry about than the decor. Like will your daughter get a DUI before she graduates?? Will she ?? Let’s stop trying to be popular and let them be students and grow… I totally disagree with all this crap… It’s as one stated before its between the roommates to just enjoy the process. This Mother should of moved her daughter to another dorm. It’s sad the School didn’t get involved and request her to take her unneeded decor back home!!!!
Lady you have no clue what lies ahead for you and your daughter get familiar with the detention centers number as you may have to be bailing someone out in the future. Get a life Mom go back to Tennessee please??
Chriscee6
August 24, 2016 at 8:43 am
All decorating should be coordinated with both ppl living in the particular room. I decorated my daughters room and yes, it is lovely. I texted pictures of fabric, trim, artwork and furniture all summer to my daughter’s roommate for approval. With regard to this young person who felt the need to move out, I can not speak to, she/he is probably better off. But as to the decorating of dorm rooms, bring it on! My daughter and her roommate and her entire family are thrilled with our completed room. Ours was not “mom” driven. Who wants to live in an 50 year old, run down, filthy, disgusting building; Crosby Hall. Frankly, our girls came to me and begged me to make the room liveable. That dorm is filthy and disgusting. Our girls are now able to live in a nice room. There is nothing wrong with creating a nice space. It requires “effort” to create a nice space….we all make choices own yours, don’t criticize those who chose exert that effort.
Lynn
August 24, 2016 at 9:34 am
Yes, my daughter was in a new dorm her Freshman year at Ole Miss…it had a sink outside the bathroom…it was not skirted…the girls didn’t care! They wanted a nice and comfortable room…it was cute but by no means magazine quality like the girls down the hall that had decorators for mothers and a builder for a father…To each his own…It sure seems to be a Southern thing to go all out on dorm decorating. I personally love looking at them but my daughter and her roommate didn’t go all out…(it was messy after the first week anyway lol)
Corey Griffin
August 24, 2016 at 11:04 am
I love lamp
MGriffin
August 24, 2016 at 11:37 am
Glad I only have a son. He didn’t care what his dorm looked like his freshman year. And believe me when I say the next time I came to visit he & his roommate’s dorm room looked like a disaster area (needless to say it only looked nice for one week)…Yes, it was very rude of this mother to take over the room & not get permission from the roommate, but I believe she is better off now for having moved! Honestly everyone tries to keep up with the Jones’…that’s the culture that Ole Miss unfortunately has always had. I was there from ’78-’82…was the same way back then too. Some of us just didn’t care back then…did our own thing & still manage to have very close friends that get together & have kept in touch since Ole Miss. I’m still a proud Alumni & will be very proud of my son when he becomes a graduate of Ole Miss! My son is a 4th generation Ole Miss student. Hotty Toddy!
Debbie Crenshaw
August 24, 2016 at 2:54 pm
This is one case of a controlling mother. I feel sorry for both girls. This type of thing happens all the time in society. We don’t have facts to support that it doesn’t happen at other colleges or that this type of mentality is prevalent at Ole Miss.
In my days at Ole Miss, my parents could only afford my tuition and had saved their money to allow me to go to college. All I had were a green trunk, a blue cord twin bedspread, sheets and a blanket. At that point in my life I wasn’t worried about my dorm room decor, and I’m glad I wasn’t. My days at Ole Miss were wonderful and I can truly say that everyone was pretty nice to me.
LoveTrumpsHate
August 24, 2016 at 3:10 pm
UM advocate, your bulldog is showing.
Clee
August 24, 2016 at 3:29 pm
You should not have posted this article unless you had both sides of the story. You made it very clear that you are friends with the person that told you this story and by that fact alone you wrote this. You have no regard for the students. You state you have told several people and that is wrong. I don’t know what happened because I only have one side of the story but I am positive that this persons dorm was not the only one picked up by several different stories. I also know that hundreds if not thousands of dorm pics were posted and hash tagged so this dorm pic could not have been the only one chosen. I think you should remove this story before you cause problems for a student that is already under tremendous stress.
Clee
August 24, 2016 at 3:55 pm
I believe that this story may not be the truth. Sounds to me like the mom got upset after the other students decor was posted on several sites. Was she not in the dorm during any of the move in??? Was she not present when the curtain was moved and hemmed? Why did she not speak up then. It is very hard for me the believe that the student or the parents were not there to see any of these things happen. Also did they not try to speak with the roommate over the summer? If they did and things were not going well why not ask for a change before it got this far? This story sounds to conveniently told for me to believe and I have way to many questions to just take this for the truth. I say again that maybe the student and mom got jealous or a little butt hurt because her pic wasn’t chosen. She states several times how the other pics had been everywhere. I think mom and student need to grow up. I see no problem with the dorms being redecorated to look as awesome as some do. I would think it would give the student a nice comfortable space to feel at home.
UM advocate
August 24, 2016 at 6:03 pm
Sorry — not a bulldog at all. Just a University of Mississippi alum and supporter who recognizes that so many of our people are on the wrong track. The elitism and narcissism that are so common among our students and graduates have no place in an institution of higher education. We will never be a great American university until we get rid of this sort of crap and focus on those things that are truly imprtant. But then we wouldn’t be Ole Miss, would we??
B Ray
August 25, 2016 at 9:22 am
Moms I hate to tell you, next year it will be an apartment you will have to decorate and dads most of those apartments are on the second and third floor with no elevators. Thank goodness most of the furniture is already included. Mom now you will have to match her stuff to this new room, different size headboard, different size sheets and comforter. Then get ready to do it all over again, when she moves into the sorority house on year three. So I assume that means I will do it all over again for senior year. Whatever happened to riffing it college. None of my apartments I live in during my many years at Ole Miss had granite counter tops and stainless appliances, infinity pool, gumbo trona by the pool, andaminties better than the Country Club.
Jack Harris
August 25, 2016 at 2:41 pm
The University allows for this culture to continue which is unfortunate as it takes away from the focus of education.
Rebel Mom
August 25, 2016 at 6:02 pm
FYI…The roommate is in [an Ole Miss organization and had obligations until 11 p.m.] and came back to her dorm room to this.
This info was provided in the article.
Clee
August 26, 2016 at 3:31 am
There is absolutely no way that they missed the whole move in! No way , one of them wasn’t there for at least part of it. I don’t care what her obligations were. As I stated before this story is way to convenient for the ” mistreated roommate”. If they moved in on the say day and it sounds like they did how did parents and student miss it all. I don’t believe it. I think she may need to grow up and learn to handle situations not call mommy crying to come save her.
Victoria Elaine
August 26, 2016 at 8:20 am
To whomever published this article, I don’t see this ending well for either party involved. It simply shows that maybe the so called “victim” in this situation is most likely not ready to be out on her own in the first place. To call mommy crying & then mommy drive 8 hours just to help her move because she was “forced” to do so, well I think it’s time to grow up & learn to deal with this thing we call life! To the other girl with the apparently fabulous room, you probably didn’t need a roommate like that anyway. It sounds like a lot of JEALOUSY was involved. Props to the student and her mom for making her room fabulous regardless. I have noticed in the dorm articles that they all have hash tags such as #olemiss #dormroom #dorm. In the event that a hashtag is used, it can be found by anyone who searches it. It simply means the publisher liked what they saw, not necessarily that the student or her mother submitted it. Also I don’t understand why it matters that neither of her parents attended Ole Miss, does that make the other girl better than her? Absolutely not! That’s childish at best! Just remember that this is a new transition for all the freshmen and their families. And for the personnel that was told about this situation and was “horrified” instead of addressing the issue at hand, that is very unprofessional! Maybe the personnel problem needs to be addressed instead of this high school drama. And congrats to the girl with the beautiful room that now doesn’t have to deal with this whiny girl always crying to mommy! God bless!
Michele
August 28, 2016 at 4:56 pm
My daughter was in the Residential College at Ole Miss (the RC) and they had a sink in their room.