Ole Miss Alumna to Continue Tradition Passed Down from Her Father

Betsy Dean with her two daughters, Maggie and Anna Lee Dean. (courtesy)

Starting this Saturday, parents will bid their children goodbye after moving them in. With cell phones and social media, parents never truly say goodbye but some may find it hard to not see their children every day. And some will try to impart final advice from “remember to wash white clothes separately” to “study hard, do well.”

An Ole Miss alumna, Betsy Dean, will be among the parents as she helps her second daughter, Anna Lee, move in at the University of Mississippi. She remembers moving in at the Brown Hall at the University of Mississippi 30 years in the summer of 1986.

Dean was then Betsy Schornhorst, a young girl from Bloomington, Indiana, moving to the University of Mississippi after enjoying a gap year with her family without any school responsibilities. “We really lived closely that year and they allowed me more freedom as a young adult,” Dean said. “After touring several schools, my parents felt the smaller atmosphere at Ole Miss was a good fit for me.”

Her parents, Tom and Virginia Schornhorst, came to Oxford to help move her in the Brown Hall. They stayed at the Holiday Inn right off the Square.

Dean said, “I’m sure my parents were excited and nervous leaving me 500 miles away in Mississippi, however, I spent a lot of time at summer camps as well as working as a camp counselor so I like to think they realized I could handle myself fairly well. I’m sure in some respects they were ready to have me out of their hair!”

While her mother played a large role in the process by shopping at the Wal-Mart and making her bed with the Laura Ashley bedspread, Dean said she suspects her father escaped “the madness of Move In day as soon as he possibly could!”

Little did she know that her father had grabbed stationery from Holiday Inn to write a heartfelt letter.

Dean said, “I imagine my dad, an avid reader walked from the Holiday Inn to Square Books where he purchased a photo book of James Dean, I imagine he had a beverage at Syd & Harry’s and later penned the letter on hotel stationery – he taped it to the inside of the book along with the inscription – To Betsy – My Favorite ‘Rebel.'”

The letter reads:

“Dearest Betsy,

Starting college away from home is usually a mark of growing up. We are so proud of you and yet, because you have been with us so closely in the past year, we will miss you most of all.

This is a significant break with the past. Home will never be the same without you – and home will never be the same to you. It is a happy but a sad time.

These are truly the best years of your life about to happen. Make the most of them. Work hard – but have fun.

Remember us and how much we love you. I have no doubt about your success. You’re going to knock ‘em dead!

Love always,
Dad”

Dean didn’t get to see the letter until she found it after they left. “It was such a whirlwind of a time,” she said. “I didn’t realize how at the time how special the letter would become to me later in life. I made sure to hold on to it all these years.”

Her father has passed away a little over a year ago today so Dean cherishes the letter even more now, still keeping it taped inside the James Dean photo book on her bedside table.

“As a rule, I don’t think fathers express their feelings as easily as mothers do so his words of encouragement and love carry a lot of weight,” she said.

She did get a chance to talk to him about the letter, remembering that she brought the book out to show him. “I recall him smiling as he read it,” she said.

To her, the most cherished lines are “work hard – but have fun” and “I have no doubt about your success.” To her, despite saying she gave her parents reasons for concern from time to time, her father’s stalwart belief in her was a comfort.

Now Dean says she feels motivated to write a letter to her youngest daughter, Anna Lee Dean, as she moves to Ole Miss. She said that she and her husband advised Anna Lee while she was preparing to move out.

She said, “We have talked with Anna Lee about finding a balance with her new-found freedom. It’s been a push-and-pull kind of summer as she seeks more freedom and we try to cram a billion life lessons into these last few days of summer. We want her to realize that she is making a significant investment in her future.”

Dean shared the same advice her late father gave her: work hard but also have fun and enjoy self-growth at college.

“Above all, read the syllabus, read the syllabus, read the syllabus…and go to the class,” Dean finished with an exclamation. “I will be sending her random text messages, memes and links related to life, love, laughter, responsibility and personal safety – and she knows this. Maybe she’ll read them.”

Callie Daniels Bryant is the senior managing editor at HottyToddy.com. She can be reached at callie.daniels@hottytoddy.com.