24 Southern Expressions for the Crazy

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“This is the South and we’re proud of our crazy people. We don’t hide them up in the attic, we bring them right down to the living room to show them off. No one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family, they just ask what side they’re on.” – Dixie Carter

Southerners love eccentrics. William Faulkner walked about town in his Royal Air Corps uniform. In Memphis, Robert Hodges, better known as Prince Mongo, is often seen around town with a long wig, aviation goggles, and a rubber chicken attached to his jacket.

Not surprisingly then, Southerners have many phrases to describe beloved characters.

As crazy as a betsy bug.

Note: The “bessie” or “betsy bug,” is also known as the “horn beetle”, “patent­leather beetle” and “pinch bug.” They fly erratically and make lots of noise, and seem…well…crazy.

As crazy as an outhouse rat.

Meaning: Only the crazy rats would live in an outhouse.

Crazier than a dog in a hubcap factory.

Crazy as a dog in a cat factory.

Crazier than an out­house fly.

Meaning: Aggressive and crazy.

Crazy as a run­over cat.

Fact: A disorder known as Hyperesthesia is a condition that can make a cat react as they’re having a can nip fit. This disease can actually cause the skin along the spine of your cat to ripple.

Crazy as a shot at rat.

Note: Rat­shot is very small lead shot cartridge (typically #12 shot) for use in rifled firearms.

Crazy as a soup sandwich.

Note: If you don’t think that’s crazy, make one and try to eat it.

Crazy as a sprayed cockroach.

Meaning: Running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

He’s about half a bubble off plumb.

Fact: The “plumb bob” has been used since at least ancient Egypt to ensure that buildings are “plumb”, or vertical.

He’s nuttier than a squirrel turd.

Fact: Never seen a squirrel turd? You probably won’t. Squirrels can defecate on the run and the skat is the size of a grain of rice.

He’s two bricks short of a load.

Also: A beer short of a six­pack. Or a few logs short of a cord. Or a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Or one fry short of a Happy Meal. Or three pickles shy of a quart.

He’s lost his vertical hold.

Rather than: Crazy as a cat in catnip.

Head full of stump water.

Note: In “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,” Tom Sawyer proposes “stump­water” or spunk­water as a remedy for warts.

Kangaroos are loose in the top paddock.

“Eccentric: A man too rich to be called crazy.” – Anonymous

Loopy as a cross­eyed cowboy.

“Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.” – Steve Landesberg

Nuttier than a five-­pound fruitcake.

Russell Baker claims to be in possession of a fruitcake that a relative baked in 1794 as a Christmas gift for George Washington. (He allegedly sent it back.) Baker and his relatives gather each year to savor a tiny morsel of the fruitcake.

Nuttier than a port­a ­potty at a peanut festival.

Fact: The National Peanut Festival is largest peanut festival, held each fall in Dothan, Alabama.

Only got one oar in the water.

Note: The expression dates back to the sixteenth century and has turned up in all sorts of different formulations down the centuries.

She’s got a bee in her bonnet.

Note: This saying has been around since the late 1790s. It also means to be “obsessed.”

The cheese slid off of that boy’s cracker!

Rather than: I don’t know whether to come home or go crazy.

The elevator don’t go all the way to the top.

Fact: The high­speed elevators in Taipei 101, the world’s tallest building, have a maximum speed of 37.6 mph.

The roof ain’t nailed tight.

“Insanity doesn’t run in my family; it gallops.” – Cary Grant

The wheels are still turning, but the hamsters died.

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” – Hunter S. Thompson

You don’t have to hang from a tree to be a nut.

“Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson


timheaton

Tim Heaton is an Ole Miss Alumnus from Southaven, Mississippi who supports The Flagship in a variety of public relations efforts. He is a contributing writer to HottyToddy.com and actively volunteers his technical, database and social media expertise to several community service organizations in his current home in Morristown, New Jersey and in his home state of Mississippi. He has been awarded over a dozen US Patents in technology and is also a published author, chef and physical fitness enthusiast.

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6 COMMENTS

  1. I love a lot of these crazy jokes. My mom was from Canton, Miss. So some I’ve heard. Laugh so hard make the stomach hurts.

  2. I hate to disagree with you but I’m going to correct your list of euphemisms above… I’m from Alabama (born and half-raised), and if that ain’t the “South”, nowhere is. I’ve not only never ‘used’ these sayings, I’ve never ‘heard’ them! My mother (also born and raised in the south), used the saying “Crazy as a Bessie Bug”, but the rest are not part of our Southern English.

  3. Oh.. And by the way, we might ‘talk’ a little funny to you Yankee’s, but we don’t look ‘stupid’, like the above picture. Nobody wears a ‘fur cap’ in the south…. (Damn Yankees!)

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