Adoption and Foster Care in the South

When Kelli Edmonds walks into church on Sunday morning, a gaggle of children follow. Emalee, a petite, pale girl with dark hair and a half-sleeve floral tattoo, asks her for the keys to grab something forgotten in the car. Chandler, a tall, dark skinned girl with a small black afro, asks for a piece of gum. Two other African American girls, Zoe and Molly, make kissy faces at the newest Edmonds addition – a little boy named Nicholas, who has his father’s blue eyes and constantly worried expression. Why do all of these children gather around this one woman? They call her by the same name – Mom.

John and Kelli Edmonds adopted four African American children in 2012, after having two adult daughters of their own, Dannie and Emalee. The Edmonds were the last stop for these four children before they would be forever separated from one another, after going through five foster homes and a temporary shelter in a six-month period.

“We had gone through three miscarriages after Emalee,” Edmonds said. “We knew we wanted more children, so we decided to go the adoption route. We felt called to adopt locally, so we went through DHS.”

The Department of Human Services did not make it easy, however. On top of the emotional trauma the children had been through, DHS did not want to give these children over to Caucasian parents.

“It was not easy,” Edmonds said. “It was a fight every step of the way. Their biggest concern wasn’t that we couldn’t provide for them, but that we couldn’t teach them their heritage because they are black, and we are white. I told them, ‘It’s not our job to teach them their heritage. It’s our job to teach them to love the Lord with all their mind, spirit, body and soul.’”

The Mississippi Department of Human Services website never mentions race at all throughout, but instead lists the regulations of becoming a foster or resource family. Those looking to apply must be legal Mississippi residents, above the age of 21, be able to pass a background check, be legally married or legally single, have no more than four children living in the home, must be financially self-supporting, and be licensed by the state. While the Edmonds passed every test, and even added on to their home by closing in their garage to make another bedroom to fit DHS standards, DHS seemed more worried about the racial profile of the children than the emotional trauma they had already endured.

The Edmonds also pointed out the sad truth of the matter – despite the racial issues that plagued their adoption, the children were in their care because no one else wanted to take them in.

“The saddest part about it is that we got a lot of disapproval from the African American community, but they had an African American family,” Edmonds said. “They didn’t want to take them in and take care of them. That’s why they were put with us in the first place. There are not many African American foster homes out there. Where do you want them to go?”

While DHS was concerned about the children learning their heritage in a white household, the Edmonds dealt with the children’s emotional instabilities.

“Chandler (the oldest) was angry,” Edmonds said. “She did not like women at all when they first moved in with us. She and I had a big struggle through that.”

Zoe, the second child, was on several medications for her behavior and had even been denied adoption by two families because of the way she behaved. Molly, the youngest of the three girls, was four when she went to live with the Edmonds. She had a few outbursts, but calmed down fairly quickly. The youngest and only boy, Joe, seemed to be less affected than the girls due to his young age.

Society looked at the Edmonds like a deer in headlights when they first began becoming a family.

“Some people, you know, just stop and stare at you,” Edmonds said. “Then, there are others that talk to you. Once they find out that they’re adopted, it’s more accepted. It’s honestly more acceptable than if I married a man of a different race, actually.”

After a year of struggling through DHS and racial boundaries, the adoption papers were finalized.

“That had to be the best day in the whole process,” Edmonds said. “It was such a fight. Every day was a struggle. So, the day that those papers were signed and they were ours, we won. All we wanted to do was to do what the Lord had called us to do and to do what we felt was right. We didn’t think it would be as hard as it was, but in the end the Lord is faithful and we got them.”

Three months ago, the Edmonds received another miracle. After three miscarriages, Kelli gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

“It’s amazing what Nicholas has done to bring our family even closer together,” Edmonds said about the newest addition to their family. “All of the kids look at him and think of him as their brother, and nothing less. That’s what he is.”

Through this process, their oldest biological daughter, Dannie was also inspired. She is currently interning as a social worker to help children and families who are struggling, and hopes that after graduation she will be licensed in social work.

Jay and Jennifer Adkins had a very different experience. The Adkins have three biological children and three adopted children, and were a resource home for several years before they adopted their third child, Ana.

The Adkins family. Pictured left to right: Chloe and Corban, Ana, Will, Jeremiah, Jennifer, Nora, and Jay.

A resource home offers a stable, temporary environment for the children to grow up in while the parents sort through their problems and, hopefully, are able to get their children back. A family can be a resource home for a child for weeks, months or even years before the child is given back to the parents. If the parents do not fix the issues at hand, the child is placed for adoption and the foster family has the option of making that transition permanent.

“I’m sure that there were people that didn’t understand,” Jay Adkins said. “We didn’t really experience any real negative reaction though. When we started fostering in 2008 or 2009, we were able to have those conversations well before adoption took place. So adoption was a big deal for us, but the people that we knew and knew us, it was a natural transition from something that was temporary to something more permanent.”

Unlike the Edmonds, the Adkins had no issues with DHS regarding the race of the children in their care, and it has not been an issue for the children either.

“DHS is open to pretty much anyone being a resource family,” Adkins said. “The kids need homes and as long as you go through the licensing process, they work well with you.”

As for the children, they aren’t too concerned that they look different than one another.

“They know that they are brown, and we are white. That’s just all there is to it,” Adkins said.

The Adkins had actually let their license for being a resource home expire after initially adopting Ana, but soon felt called to be resources again. Resource families must be licensed by the state after passing home inspections, taking tests and passing roughly six weeks of classes. They are then matched with a child based on the child’s needs and the family’s ability to work with the child for however long it is needed. The Adkins were in the process of renewing their license when they found out that Jeremiah was a little boy that would soon be available in foster care and potentially adoption.

Their relicensing lined up perfectly, and Jeremiah began having weekend visits with the Adkins shortly after they were relicensed.

“Jeremiah was about two when he started coming to stay with us on the weekends,” Adkins said. “Soon after that he transitioned into our house full time. He had only been there a few weeks when we heard about Corban, and he came to stay with us as well.”

Ana, age 6, Jeremiah, age 4, and Corban, age 2, are adopted. Chloe, age 15, and Will, age 10, are Adkins by birth.

Like the Edmonds, Jennifer Adkins also had another child after adopting children, and named her Nora Jane Adkins. The reactions, however, were slightly different.

“Ana probably took it the hardest,” Adkins said. “She had decided that she was the baby, so when we added in a few more siblings and then a baby girl, it was rough for her. But the good thing is that they’re all in sequential order, so the ones we adopted last were the youngest before we had Nora. It’s a natural sibling tension.”

The hardest part for the Adkins was not related to race or heritage at all, but simply time. Ana’s adoption went quickly. The Adkins began fostering her in the spring of 2011, and her adoption was finalized in December of that same year. For Jeremiah and Corban, however, their adoption took roughly a year and a half to finalize.

“Being patient was one of the hardest things for us,” Adkins said. “We had to wait on God’s timing and not ours. We always want things to be fast and neat, and that just doesn’t happen.”

However, the good outweighs the bad by leaps and bounds, Adkins said.

“The moment those adoption papers are signed is a great, great moment,” Adkins said. “As a resource home, it’s also one of those great moments to get to interact and love on people that you wouldn’t normally see, be it the struggling mother or biological father or the social worker. Helping a child for a season so their parents can work through their issues and get the opportunity to raise their children, that’s a highlight too.”

Both families, despite their differing experiences with DHS, think that it is a great and very necessary resource, especially in Mississippi. According to the Congressional Coalition of Adoption Institute, there are 397,122 children living without permanent families in the foster care system. Of those, 101,666 are eligible for adoption, but nearly 32 percent of these children will wait over three years in foster care before being adopted. Ultimately, racial boundaries do not cause enough tension, inside or outside of DHS, to keep a needy child from an available home, either in the foster care system or adoption.

To see more about the regulations and opportunities of becoming a resource family or adopting a child, visit http://www.mdhs.state.ms.us/.

Shelby Louwerens Nelson is a senior print journalism major at the Meek School of Journalism and New media. She can be reached at slouwere@go.olemiss.edu.