Heaton: 10 Southern Sayings for Sweltering Summer Heat


With a week or two of winter and a summer that stretches from May to October, Southerners have lots of opportunities to conjure up creative ways of describing the heat.

1. Hotter than a billy goat with a blow torch.

2. It’s so hot I saw a squirrel putting suntan oil on his nuts.

3. Hotter than Satan’s house-cat.

4. Hotter than two hamsters farting in a wool sock.

5. Hotter than Satan’s toenails.

6. Hotter than a four-peckered billy goat.

7. It is hotter than a jalapeño’s armpit.

8. It’s hotter than hell’s pepper patch.

9. It’s hotter than Hell and half of Georgia.

10. It’s hotter than the Devil’s armpit.

Do you have a favorite “hot” saying from your family? Let me hear from you!

BlessYourHeartTim Heaton is a HottyToddy.com contributor and can be reached at tim.h.heaton@gmail.com. His new book, “Bless Your Heart, You Freakin’ Idiot: Southern Sayings Translated” is available on Amazon as well as “Momma n’ Em Said: The Treasury of Southern Sayings.”


  1. My mom used to say that it was so hot that it felt like “there’s nothing but a screen door between here and hell”

  2. Here is one that I have been using since the 80’s that my mom made up.

    Hotter than 2 Hells and a Blowtorch.

    Also I have one I used to say:
    Hotter than a Hooker at church under the pulpit sucking the preacher off.

  3. It’s hotter than a fat niggar at a free dance.
    It’s hotter than a nun’s twat in the Cucumber patch
    It’s hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire
    It’s hotter than a priest in preschool

  4. its sad how comments always turn racist when they are anonymous. I pray that humanity someday has more love for one another.


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