With a week or two of winter and a summer that stretches from May to October, Southerners have lots of opportunities to conjure up creative ways of describing the heat.
1. Hotter than a billy goat with a blow torch.
2. It’s so hot I saw a squirrel putting suntan oil on his nuts.
3. Hotter than Satan’s house-cat.
4. Hotter than two hamsters farting in a wool sock.
5. Hotter than Satan’s toenails.
6. Hotter than a four-peckered billy goat.
7. It is hotter than a jalapeño’s armpit.
8. It’s hotter than hell’s pepper patch.
9. It’s hotter than Hell and half of Georgia.
10. It’s hotter than the Devil’s armpit.
Do you have a favorite “hot” saying from your family? Let me hear from you!
Tim Heaton is a HottyToddy.com contributor and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. His new book, “Bless Your Heart, You Freakin’ Idiot: Southern Sayings Translated” is available on Amazon as well as “Momma n’ Em Said: The Treasury of Southern Sayings.”