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Heaton: 10 Southern Sayings for Sweltering Summer Heat
With a week or two of winter and a summer that stretches from May to October, Southerners have lots of opportunities to conjure up creative ways of describing the heat.
1. Hotter than a billy goat with a blow torch.
2. It’s so hot I saw a squirrel putting suntan oil on his nuts.
3. Hotter than Satan’s house-cat.
4. Hotter than two hamsters farting in a wool sock.
5. Hotter than Satan’s toenails.
6. Hotter than a four-peckered billy goat.
7. It is hotter than a jalapeño’s armpit.
8. It’s hotter than hell’s pepper patch.
9. It’s hotter than Hell and half of Georgia.
10. It’s hotter than the Devil’s armpit.
Do you have a favorite “hot” saying from your family? Let me hear from you!
Tim Heaton is a HottyToddy.com contributor and can be reached at tim.h.heaton@gmail.com. His new book, “Bless Your Heart, You Freakin’ Idiot: Southern Sayings Translated” is available on Amazon as well as “Momma n’ Em Said: The Treasury of Southern Sayings.”
| Sat, Aug 31 |  | vs Furman | W, 76-0 |
| Sat, Sep 7 |  | vs Middle Tennessee | W, 52-3 |
| Sat, Sep 14 |  | @ Wake Forest | W, 40-6 |
| Sat, Sep 21 |  | vs Georgia Southern | W, 52-13 |
| Sat, Sep 28 |  | vs Kentucky | L, 20-17 |
| Sat, Oct 5 |  | @ South Carolina | W, 27-3 |
| Sat, Oct 12 |  | vs LSU | L, 29-26 (2 OT) |
| Sat, Oct 26 |  | vs Oklahoma | W, 26-14 |
| Sat, Nov 2 |  | @ Arkansas | W, 63-35 |
| Sat, Nov 16 |  | vs Georgia | W, 28-10 |
| Sat, Nov 23 |  | @ Florida | L, 24-17 |
| Sat, Nov 30 |  | vs Mississippi State | W, 26-14 |
| Thu, Jan 2 |  | vs Duke (Gator Bowl) | 6:30 PM • ESPN |
Suzette Hallum
June 4, 2015 at 4:46 pm
Hotter than deep fried hell
Lisa Gabbard
June 4, 2015 at 5:41 pm
My mom used to say that it was so hot that it felt like “there’s nothing but a screen door between here and hell”
Susan
June 5, 2015 at 11:09 am
So hot you could fry an egg on the asphalt.
Anonymous
June 5, 2015 at 6:03 pm
Hotter than the hinges of hell.
Julian Keller
July 12, 2015 at 7:32 am
Here is one that I have been using since the 80’s that my mom made up.
Hotter than 2 Hells and a Blowtorch.
Also I have one I used to say:
Hotter than a Hooker at church under the pulpit sucking the preacher off.
William
May 7, 2016 at 12:45 pm
Hotter than a whore in church
Ty
May 17, 2016 at 9:03 pm
Hotter than a $2 pistol
Leigh
June 3, 2016 at 3:30 pm
Hotter than a well diggers butt in the middle of Texarkana!~
cody
June 7, 2016 at 7:05 pm
Hotter than young love on a park bench
Hotter than a naked habanero
June 25, 2016 at 7:55 am
Hotter than a festered kneecap
Julie
July 7, 2016 at 1:12 pm
It’s hooter than a fat Negro at a free BBQ!
Dave Puckett
July 11, 2016 at 9:29 pm
Hotter than 40 Hells
Kaylee
July 22, 2016 at 7:54 pm
It’s hotter than a 2 dollar south of the border hooker in a pepper patch
Teppa
July 28, 2016 at 6:45 pm
Hotter than a one legged man in Texas ass kicking contest.
Steve
July 28, 2016 at 10:11 pm
Hotter than fish grease…copied from my friend in Va
Henry
July 31, 2016 at 11:28 pm
It’s hotter than a fat niggar at a free dance.
It’s hotter than a nun’s twat in the Cucumber patch
It’s hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire
It’s hotter than a priest in preschool
Shaba
August 27, 2016 at 8:57 am
It’s hotter than four big bitches in a phone booth with a G-string
Raz
September 11, 2016 at 7:21 am
Hotter then two rats fucking in wool sock
Hotter then a two dollar whore on nickle night
Hotter then Hells half acre
Will Badger
September 14, 2016 at 4:21 am
It’s hotter than yesterday. About 34 degrees I’d say. Bitch.
James Philip Dorse
February 9, 2017 at 5:10 am
It’s hotter than a fat man’s arse crack in a sauna.
Markus Paulsen
May 8, 2017 at 2:35 pm
It’s hotter than Houdini.
Bridgett
May 20, 2017 at 7:24 pm
Hotter than a raped ape
Andrew Cave
May 22, 2017 at 10:29 am
Hotter than three in a bed
Bob T
June 16, 2017 at 8:48 am
It’s going to be hotter than a Sriracha sauce enema today.
Amber Craig
July 9, 2017 at 4:21 pm
It’s hotter than the devil’s draws. High Point NC
Amber Craig
July 9, 2017 at 4:25 pm
One of the most popular “It’s so hot” sayings in the south is “It’s hotter than forty hells!”
Amber Craig
July 9, 2017 at 4:26 pm
Very popular in my part of the south, High Point NC
Tylar
July 19, 2017 at 11:33 am
It’s hotter than a whore house on nickel night
Mandy D
July 19, 2017 at 2:21 pm
So hot the neighbors chickens are layin’ boiled eggs!LoL
Christy Graham
July 20, 2017 at 3:01 pm
So hot make you wanna live right! Lol muscle shoals,AL
Killbily
September 2, 2017 at 3:28 am
Hotter than a fire cracker lit at both ends.
Trent
December 3, 2017 at 9:44 am
It’s hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock behind the dryer
someone
March 28, 2018 at 3:58 pm
Bitch wtf is wrong with u
Ken bygod
May 13, 2018 at 12:57 pm
Hotter than two rats fucking in a sock behind the dryer
LevisGirl
May 26, 2018 at 11:59 am
Hotter than 10 fat bitches in a closet!
Storm Chandler
June 3, 2018 at 7:48 pm
hotter than 9 Hells over a volcano…
Human Race
June 5, 2018 at 5:35 pm
its sad how comments always turn racist when they are anonymous. I pray that humanity someday has more love for one another.
Humanity
June 22, 2018 at 11:16 am
Suck a dick libtard!
Steve Roy
June 26, 2018 at 12:38 am
Hotter than a barefoot negro running from the law on the 4th of July !
A negro
June 29, 2018 at 5:05 am
Is hotter than 4 fags in a phone booth!!
Totty
July 3, 2018 at 11:50 pm
It’s hotter than a Billy goat’s ass in a pepper patch….
Dave
July 7, 2018 at 7:45 pm
It’s hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire!
A Republican
July 16, 2018 at 8:13 pm
People are too ignorant and arrogant to see the error in their ways.
Notanasshole
July 20, 2018 at 2:48 pm
Julie, you’re going to hell so you’ll see what hot is
tyler
August 15, 2018 at 12:42 am
It’s heating up faster than a junkies spoon
Hanover Joe
September 3, 2018 at 3:21 pm
It’s hotter than a hooker’s door knob on nickle night.
Ceezalio
October 18, 2018 at 11:21 pm
Hotter than a popcorn fart.
Fuckyou lol
May 25, 2019 at 11:45 pm
Straight face gang, wya?
stfu
May 25, 2019 at 11:46 pm
Watch ya mouth.
Randy
May 29, 2019 at 1:10 pm
Hotter than cat house on two for one night
Sharon Cameron
August 21, 2019 at 9:34 am
Stfu I was going to say the same thing. Thank you. Some people can’t keep anything fun without being rude.