On Cooking Southern: Get’cher Grits On, Bubbas, Jordan Spieth is in Town

SOUTHERNISM OF THE WEEK

Not the freshest egg in the basket: An expression referring obliquely to a person’s age, or more specifically, implying that said person is no longer in the bloom of youth and ought to stop behaving like Madonna.

Don’t know about y’all, but The Old Bride just spent the weekend glued to the television watching golf pros make it look easy to hit an itsy bitsy li’l ol’ white ball into an almost as teensy hole in the ground.

It was the weekend of the 2015 U.S. Master’s Tournament at Georgia’s Augusta National Golf Club, considered the Rolls Royce of tournaments on the PGA tour.

This year’s Masters provided a thrilling spectacle for armchair viewers and professionals alike. The field of established players from past generations gave way to a new field of youngsters with talent oozing from every pore.

The Augusta tourney had opened with ceremonial tee-offs by legends Arnold Palmer, Gary Player and Jack Nicklaus. The iconic 75-year-old Golden Bear (Nicklaus) went on to nail a hole-in-one on the 4th hole of the Wednesday Par 3 Contest. Nicklaus has won the Masters six times — more than any other player, but it was the first hole-in-one of his entire career.

The entire weekend contained similar excitement. Three-time Masters winner Phil Mickelson thrilled the gallery on Sunday when he hit a Bubba Watson-like shot from the bunker to eagle on Hole 15. For folks unacquainted with golf terminology, this means he hit the little white ball from the sand trap directly uphill into the cup, completing the hole two strokes under par.

At dusk on Sunday, 21-year-old Jordan Spieth confirmed what the golf world had anticipated all weekend. The second-youngest winner in the tournament’s history, Spieth further nailed his place in Masters golf history by breaking numerous golf records and leading the pack every day of competition. He hit 28 birdies, the most birdies at the Masters ever. He completed the lowest opening round with a score of 64. He went on to establish 36-hole and 54-hole records, and completed the tourney at a record 18 under par — four strokes ahead of the nearest competitors, Justin Rose and Mickelson. Any other year, Rose and Mickelson’s scores would have been, well, Masterful.

The Masters is as much about great tradition as it is about great golf. In fact, the atmosphere and events surrounding the tourney cover more traditions than just about any other sporting event. Many of these Masters traditions are rooted in old-fashioned Southern good manners.

There’s the mandatory prohibition against electronic devices, including radios, beepers, tv’s, walkie-talkies, and cell phones. That means no intrusive rings, beeps or chatter interrupting an important putt, and no selfies by pushy fans. Thank God.

There’s also the prohibition against strollers, flags, banners and signs, large bags and backpacks, ladders, folding armchairs and those annoying periscopes. Cameras are prohibited except during the practice rounds. Coolers, beverage containers and alcoholic beverages also are outlawed, as are all pets except authorized service dogs.

Other rules cover attire, deportment and decorum before, during, and after play on the course. In other words, no obscene displays of too-much skin, no shouting or confrontations, no jostling and no requesting autographs during the tournament.

It’s all designed to let the golfers do what they do.

The food at the Masters is almost as famous as the tournament. And it’s sold at 20th century prices. Generically labeled sodas, lemonade, sports drinks, coffee, water and iced tea sell for $1 to $1.50. The beer is more expensive — $4 for domestic and $5 for imported. Inflation has even made it to Augusta.

The sandwiches range from chicken salad and barbecue to the famous Masters pimento cheese and egg salad. No sandwich costs more than $3. Chips, candy, crackers, Tylenol, aspirin, and Georgia Peach Ice Cream sandwiches round out the other possible purchases for Masters “Patrons” (everybody holding a ticket).

One of my new Oxford friends annually attended the Masters Tournament in Augusta until a death inconveniently lost her family their access to tickets. NOTE: Unlike stadium PSL’s for ticket-holding football patrons, Masters tickets revert back to Augusta upon the ticketholder’s death. There’s always a waiting list.

So now, my friend and her hubby honor the Augusta tradition at home, making up tiny, crustless pimento cheese and egg salad sandwiches. They consume them in front of the big screen television, washing them down with lemonade, iced tea, beer and classic cola in plastic cups hoarded from past Masters tournaments.

Life could be so much worse.

HIT A HOLE-IN-ONE TRADITION WITH SHRIMP AND PIMENTO CHEESE GRITS

Pimento cheese is always in season in the South, but the Masters Tournament launches our region’s pimento cheese Spring fervor.

I’m not discussing how to make pimento cheese in this week’s column — we’ve already done that. Besides, Oxonians have access to store-bought pints and half-pints made up just for us by pimento cheese “masters.” Think James Foods, My Michelle’s, Newk’s and Lindsey’s Chevron. For a homemade pimento cheese refresher, click here.

Instead, this week we are discussing a slightly new twist on another long-time Southern favorite, Shrimp and Grits. After all, local vendors have begun hauling up gorgeous Gulf shrimp weekly. Feel free to make your own pimento cheese for the soufflé, or purchase your favorite store-bought version.

PIMENTO CHEESE GRITS SOUFFLE

2 c grits (stone ground or regular, NOT instant)

4 c water

1-1/2 c whole milk

1 tsp salt

4 T salted butter

12-oz container of stiff pimento cheese (I use Original

Palmetto Cheese brand)

6 eggs, separated; yolks beaten, whites beaten stiff

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Put the water in a 3-quart saucepan. Add salt and bring to a boil on medium heat. Stir in the grits, and continue stirring about 5 minutes. Add milk and stir to prevent scorching, reducing heat. Add butter and stir until creamy. Remove from heat and stir in pimento cheese until completely blended. Cool for about five minutes and stir in the beaten egg yolks, followed by the beaten egg whites. Gently fold until completely blended.

Turn out into a buttered 3-quart casserole dish. Bake about 45-55 minutes on middle rack of oven until entire soufflé has risen and center no longer jiggles. Turn off oven and after a few minutes carefully remove soufflé to a rack to set up while cooling slightly.

While casserole is baking, make the shrimp gravy.

SHRIMP GRAVY

1 lb large (16-20 count) raw shrimp, cleaned, peeled, deveined, tails removed

2 – 4 large clove(s) garlic, minced, to taste

2 – 3 T chopped fresh parsley

4 – 6 T fresh lemon juice

2 T all purpose flour

6 slices of bacon, cooked and chopped into tiny pieces OR 6

T bacon pieces

4 T bacon grease

4 T butter

1 c white onion, chopped fine

1/4 c green or red bell pepper, seeded and chopped fine

1-1/2 tsp kosher salt

1/2 tsp fresh ground black pepper

1-1/2 c chicken broth

3 – 4 T all-purpose flour

2-4 T chopped green onion

Place shrimp in a bowl and sprinkle with lemon juice, salt and pepper, garlic, chopped parsley, and 2 T flour. Stir to mix and set aside.

If cooking bacon from scratch, fry in a large skillet until crisp; reserve grease and drain the bacon on a paper towel. Chop into tiny pieces when cooled. Otherwise, use leftover bacon drippings and packaged bacon pieces.

Return pan heat to medium, add butter to the bacon grease. When the butter begins to sizzle, whisk in 3 T flour, whisking for about 12 minutes until color turns milk chocolate in color. Immediately add the onion and bell pepper. Stir gently but regularly until onions become transparent.

Stir in the chopped bacon and add entire bowl of marinated shrimp mixture. Fold gently to avoid breaking the shrimp. After a minute, add the chicken stock, stirring until liquid thickens, and centers of shrimp turn pink. Remove skillet from heat.

Serve immediately, ladling the shrimp gravy over servings of pimento cheese grits soufflé. Top with chopped green onion.

Laurie Triplette is a writer, historian and accredited appraiser of fine arts, dedicated to preserving Southern culture and foodways. Author of the award-winning community family cookbook GIMME SOME SUGAR, DARLIN’, and editor of ZEBRA TALES (Tailgating Recipes from the Ladies of the NFLRA), Triplette is a member of the Association of Food Journalists, Southern Foodways Alliance and the Southern Food and Beverage Museum. Check out the GIMME SOME SUGAR, DARLIN’ website and follow Laurie’s food adventures on Facebook and Twitter.