Heaton: 10 Toxic Resume Buzzwords You Should Replace with Southern Sayings

Each year since 2009, LinkedIn has released the top 10 overused buzzwords from member profiles. How do you let potential employers know that you’re the real deal without these key words? Say it Southern style of course!

Here the buzzwords to cut from your profile and resume along with the Southern alternatives that will surely make you stand out.

1. Motivated

You’ll lose your grip if you put too much spit on your hands.

I’m decided I would make it happen, even if it harelip-ed the governor.

I won’t let my shirt tail touch my back until it’s done.

2. Passionate

What you don’t have in your head, you have to have in your feet.

I’d fight tigers in the dark with a switch for this company.

Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.

3. Creative

If duct tape doesn’t fix it, you’re not using enough duct tape.

Tell me what you need and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.

Words that soak best into ears are whispered.

4. Driven

I don’t worry about the mule going blind, just load the wagon.

Make haste — there ain’t no coming back.

Slap some bacon on biscuits, we’re burning daylight.

5. Extensive experience

A new broom sweeps clean, but an old one knows where the dirt is.

Scared money don’t win.

Turnip tops don’t tell you the size of the turnips.

6. Responsible

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

There are no weevils in my wheat.

I’m so honest you could shoot craps with me over the phone.

7. Strategic

If you have to eat two frogs, eat the big one first.

Early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

If you cut your own firewood, it’ll warm you twice.

8. Track record

When my jobs are small and rewards seem few, I remember the mighty oak was once a nut too.

You know how I’ve done by looking at my barn, not my house.

The woodpile doesn’t grow much on frosty nights.

9. Organizational

Throw it up to the wind and let the dust settle it.

Two can live as cheap as one if one don’t eat.

Many good cotton stalks get chopped by associating with weeds.

10. Expert

Live and learn, die and know it all.

When I find myself in a hole – I quit digging.

I won’t argue with idiots, they will just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Don’t fall back on empty terminology; remember that an idiom is worth a thousand pictures. And when asked you if you’d consider relocation, tell them “I prefer Heaven for the climate but Hell for the company.”

Tim Heaton is a HottyToddy.com contributor and can be reached at tim.h.heaton@gmail.com. His new book, “Momma n’ Em Said: The Treasury of Southern Sayings” is available on Amazon.