Last week, resident expert* Dr. Moon Pie Curtis changed your life entirely with a life hack that took you to another level. Now, Dr. Curtis shares his wisdom with the HottyToddy.com masses with this amazing hack that will absolutely destroy everything you thought you knew about the universe and close the lid on your biggest fear in life. You thought your only solution was to berate your significant other and stomp your feet until someone solves this problem for you, but as Dr. Curtis shows, this empowering life hack puts your destiny in your own hands.
— Tad Wilkes, email@example.com
* Dr. Moon Pie Curtis is neither an expert nor a doctor.