This Dog Will Hunt: Southern Sayings, Part II

Last week, we posted a story called 13 Southern Sayings the Rest of America Won’t Understand and it’s gone viral! So, in the spirit of Experiencing the South and all things uniquely Southern, we’ve compiled our own list of sayings sent by you, our readers!
Below you’ll find the new sayings and who sent them to us. Did we miss some? Comment at the bottom of this post with your additions!
Green as a gourd – Ed Meek
He couldn’t hear thunder – Babs Blair
That dog won’t hunt – Matt Wallace
Tighter than Dick’s hatband – Joe Dawn and Dianne Wilson
[quote]According to Urban Dictionary, this phrase “could be used to identify a place that is empty, a person who is wound up, or any number of situations where the word ‘tight’ is used. Nobody seems to know who Dick was. Apparently he had a tough time keeping his hat on his head.”[/quote]
Over yonder – Dianne Wilson
One brick short of a load; not the sharpest knife in the drawer; elevator doesn’t go all the way up – Katherine Ewing
Fixin’ to – Cheri McManus
Couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the directions written on the heel – George Milam
Scarce as hens teeth; could pic a fight in an empty room; couldn’t find is ass with both hands in his back pockets; I didn’t come in on the turnip truck, but I’ll have you know I was driving; best thing since the front shirt pocket – Keith Rodden
Cotton pickin’ (adj.), as in “get off that cotton pickin phone!” – Amy Pieralisi
We’re eating high on the hog – Kenny Cooper and Chris Canty Sparks
It’s no count – Tim Blackwell
Grinning like a mule eating cuckleburrows – Jim Riley
Sharp as a butter knife – Richard Martin
Nervous as a long-tail cat in a room fulla rocking chairs – Cheryl Bright
“My mama didn’t drop me off a tater wagon.” It means she isn’t stupid as to the allegation of being dropped on her head as a baby. – Johnnie Netherland
Good gravy and a biscuit – Christine Davis
It’s colder than a well digger’s butt; It’s colder than a witch’s cleavage in a brass bra. – Nell Hood
Walkin’ in high cotton. – Karen Ballering
One that always got my transplanted husband was “I had to carry mother to the doctor.” He took it literally. – Penny Reinhardt
We’re cooking with grease now – Chris Canty Sparks
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Sent to us from R Terrill:
DOWNPOURING RAIN – Like a cow pissin’ on a flat rock.
EXPERIENCE- This ain’t my first rodeo OR this ain’t my first goat ropin’.
QUICKLY DISSIPATE – Like a fart in the wind.
EXHAUSTION – Too pooped to pop.
SPEEDY EXIT – Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.
TALKATIVE – Windier than a bucket full of butt holes.
FREEZING – Colder than a well digger’s ass OR colder than a witches tit.
PECULIAR PERSON – They were cut out right, just sewed up wrong.
DUNCE – A sandwich short of a picnic.
HAD PLENTY TO EAT – As full as a tick.
TOO LITTLE TOO LATE – It doesn’t do any good to close the gate after the horse is out.
FUTILITY – Like pissin’ in the wind.
SLOW START – Like a herd of turtles
A TWISTED VARIATION – Like a turd of hurdles.
POOR RECEPTION – Going over like a turd in the punch bowl OR like a turd in the gold fish bowl
UNDRESSED – Naked as a jay bird.
SLIM – Skinny as a rail OR skinny as a bean pole.
ARID – Dry as a popcorn fart.
SIMPLE PERSON – Raised on beans and taters.
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From HottyToddy.com creative director Sarah Beth Wiley-Smith:
If its raining and the sun is shining, that means the Devil is beating his wife.
If your nose itches, someone is coming to see you with a hole in their britches.
When walking with another person, if something passes between the two people, one person says ‘bread’ and the other says ‘butter’ or  ‘needles’ and ‘thread’ or ‘peanut butter’ and ‘jelly’.
Calling the stove burner the ‘eye of the stove’.
Northerners don’t seem to know the delicious beauty of pimento cheese or caramel cake.
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Here are couple more we’ve thought of around the office:
At the grocery store, it’s a buggy, not a shopping cart.
A bottle opener is called a church key.
They’re tennis shoes, even if you don’t play tennis. Not sneakers.
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A big THANK YOU to everyone who contributed to this post! We love our readers and love even more when they send us stuff! Comment below to let us know if we missed any uniquely Southern sayings!
– Kate Wallace, managing editor, HottyToddy.com, kate.wallace@hottytoddy.com