Attention Deficit Delight, Vol. 7 — The Refreshment Will Not Be Televised

Undiagnosed, disconnected thoughts of the moment.

Various postulates on …

Warm Beer

The sale of beer in Oxford went legal more than 40 years ago, with the city placing a few regulations on it in 1973, to protect the “health, morals, and safety” of Oxonians. Among these provisions was that no refrigerated beer could be sold. One legend has it that whomever controlled the ice lobby in town at the time threw his influence into the mix, so people would have to buy beer warm and then buy ice. Others say the law was intended to keep people from popping tops in the car on the way home from the store.

Who knows? The minutes from the 1973 aldermen meeting don’t give the background for the decision, which might be helpful to know when the Board of Aldermen hear a petition from a retailer, Tuesday, July 23. All I can surmise in the present day is that I see three general types of folks in the camp against legalizing the sale of cold beer. The following are the profiles, and I respond with a song carefully selected to convey a message to each respective contingent:

1. Those opposed to cold beer on purported moral or religious grounds.

To you, I give this:

2. Those who believe bedlam will ensue, because many people supposedly will begin drinking cold beer as they drive away from the store. 

Don’t forget, it’s still illegal to drive impaired. You know, we sell cold beer in bars, and I’m willing to bet not every person who leaves takes a cab after four or five beers. Just arrest the drunk drivers. Open containers are still illegal in the car, too, even if you’re not yet impaired. We have plenty of laws in place to protect against irresponsible use of alcohol. I’m not sure why we need the one subsection that hampers enjoyment of alcohol in the first place.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfO8TcBa6I0

3. Those opposed because they own a store that presently sells beer warm, but they don’t want to “have to” buy coolers and renovate in order to sell it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGaoXAwl9kw

Gotta go. Party at the moon tower. Pickford’s got busted.

Tad Wilkes, Nightlife & Lifestyle Editor, tad.wilkes@hottytoddy.com