Arts & Entertainment
The Captain Midnight Dossier
Our intelligence file on the master of waterbed rock ‘n’ roll
By Tad Wilkes, Nightlife & Lifestyles Editor
Oxford-bred Captain Midnight will land at Proud Larrys’ this Thursday, March 7, 9 p.m. on his March Mopery Tour. You know what mopery is, right? It’s the act of exposing yourself to a blind person. As Oxford patiently waits for Midnight to expose his naked truths to the blind of soul, HottyToddy.com decided to share what we know about the mysterious guitar-slinging character.
NAME: Midnight
ALIASES: 12AM, Josh Cooker, Josh Cooker Melonpants, The Kid
RANK: Captain (previously Your Yeoman Purser)
UNIT: The Captain Midnight Band
SKILLS: Guitar wizardry, digital dexterity, blue poetry, the downstroke, custom lighting and dirty electronics, waterbed rock ‘n’ roll, tanning, waterbed rock ‘n’ roll
DISTINCTIVE FEATURES: Jawa eyes, pointy hat, Dutch Mantel beard
Captain Midnight’s B. C. Rich Warlock just got a new paint job.
ORIGIN AND TRAINING: Born and raised in Oxford, studied legs in Harmontown, special training in New Orleans
CURRENT BASE: East Nashville
MAIN WEAPONS: B. C. Rich Mockingbird, B. C. Rich Warlock, rapier wit
KNOWN ASSOCIATES: Little Rae Rae, Bob Weir, C. T. Beefoff, Moon Pie Curtis
PAST GROUPS AND ORGANIZATIONS: Speed, McFly, Cardinal Fluff, Americans on Parade, Cronk
UPCOMING OPS: Going into the studio in April to start on a new record to release this summer.
NEXT MISSION: Proud Larrys’, Thursday, March 7, 9 p.m. The third stop on the March Mopery Tour, from the midwest to the coast and into the Carolinas.
SELECTED MATERIALS:
“Jug of Wine” and “Satisfy My Appetite”
“Naked”
“Witch’s Tit”
The Captain Midnight Band. Photo by Matt Read, Funky Umbrella Photography.
| Mon, Nov 4 |  | vs Long Island University | W, 90-60 |
| Fri, Nov 8 |  | vs Grambling | W, 66-64 |
| Tue, Nov 12 |  | vs South Alabama | W, 64-54 |
| Sat, Nov 16 |  | vs Colorado State | W, 84-69 |
| Thu, Nov 21 |  | vs Oral Roberts | L, 100-68 |
| Thu, Nov 28 |  | vs BYU | W, 96-85 OT |
| Fri, Nov 29 |  | vs 13 Purdue | L, 80-78 |
| Tue, Dec 3 |  | @ Louisville | W, 86-63 |
| Sat, Dec 7 |  | vs Lindenwood | W, 86-53 |
| Sat, Dec 14 |  | vs Southern Miss | W, 77-46 |
| Tue, Dec 17 |  | vs Southern | W, 74-61 |
| Sat, Dec 21 |  | vs Queens University | W, 80-62 |
| Sat, Dec 28 |  | @ Memphis | L, 87-70 |
| Sat, Jan 4 |  | vs Georgia | W, 63-51 |
| Wed, Jan 8 |  | @ 23 Arkansas | W, 73-66 |
| Sat, Jan 11 |  | vs LSU | W, 77-65 |
| Tue, Jan 14 |  | @ 5 Alabama | W, 74-64 |
| Sat, Jan 18 |  | @ 17 Mississippi State | L, 81-84 |
| Wed, Jan 22 |  | vs 13 Texas A&M | L, 62-63 |
| Sat, Jan 25 |  | @ Missouri | 5:00 PM SECN |
| Wed, Jan 29 |  | vs Texas | 8:00 PM ESPN2 |
| Sat, Feb 1 |  | vs 2 Auburn | 3:00 PM TBA |
| Tue, Feb 4 |  | vs 10 Kentucky | 6:00 PM ESPN |
| Sat, Feb 8 | | @ LSU | 7:30 PM SECN |
| Wed, Feb 12 |  | @ South Carolina | 6:00 PM SECN |
| Sat, Feb 15 | | vs 17 Mississippi State | 5:00 PM TBA |
| Sat, Feb 22 |  | @ Vanderbilt | 2:30 PM SECN |
| Wed, Feb 26 | | @ 2 Auburn | 6:00 PM TBA |
| Sat, Mar 1 |  | vs 12 Oklahoma | 1:00 PM TBA |
| Wed, Mar 5 |  | vs 1 Tennessee | 8:00 PM TBA |
| Sat, Mar 8 |  | @ 6 Florida | 5:00 PM SECN |