Tim Heaton

Tim Heaton: 15 Sure Signs You Went to High School in the South

Personally, I would decline a do-over for high school. It was tough: The confusion of emerging adulthood and all those tragedies that only a...

Tim Heaton: 15 Sure Signs You Went to High School in the South

Personally, I would decline a do-over for high school. It was tough: The confusion of emerging adulthood and all those tragedies that only a...

7 Funny Things Southerners Say About Cold Weather

  Judging the weather based on numerical temperatures is boring. Besides, if it’s 35 or 40 degrees, who can tell the difference? Southerners love a...

Top 10 Rules For Southerners Visiting New York City

As any hunter knows, you have to blend-in to bag game. In NYC, the purpose of blending in is to avoid being the game....

Top 10 Rules For Southerners Visiting New York City

As any hunter knows, you have to blend-in to bag game. In NYC, the purpose of blending in is to avoid being the game....
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Heaton: What Hugh Freeze’s Mom Has to Say About Her Son

Hugh Freeze was recently singled out for being a favorite of mothers of college football players. So I decided to give Coach Freeze's mom...
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114 Southern Similes, Metaphors and Other Allusions for Dramatic Effect

The magic of Southern speech is in the similes and metaphors and other allusions. These techniques are the yellow highlighter of conversation. Could one communicate...
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66 Southern Expressions for Gossiping

My neighborhood's real ­estate agent and self­-appointed moralist was known as for her unsolicited opinions of other's private lives. When asked why this was...
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19 Southern Expressions for the Impoverished

My memories of growing up in the South are happy ones. Those were simpler times when kids had to be called to come back...
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17 Southern Expressions for Saying Goodbye

As a get-­together winds down, some guests unwittingly overstay their welcome. I believe in erring on the side of "under-­staying" – i.e. always leave...