Tim Heaton

Top 10 Rules For Southerners Visiting New York City

As any hunter knows, you have to blend-in to bag game. In NYC, the purpose of blending in is to avoid being the game....

Top 10 Rules For Southerners Visiting New York City

As any hunter knows, you have to blend-in to bag game. In NYC, the purpose of blending in is to avoid being the game....
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Heaton: What Hugh Freeze’s Mom Has to Say About Her Son

Hugh Freeze was recently singled out for being a favorite of mothers of college football players. So I decided to give Coach Freeze's mom...
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114 Southern Similes, Metaphors and Other Allusions for Dramatic Effect

The magic of Southern speech is in the similes and metaphors and other allusions. These techniques are the yellow highlighter of conversation. Could one communicate...
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66 Southern Expressions for Gossiping

My neighborhood's real ­estate agent and self­-appointed moralist was known as for her unsolicited opinions of other's private lives. When asked why this was...
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19 Southern Expressions for the Impoverished

My memories of growing up in the South are happy ones. Those were simpler times when kids had to be called to come back...
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17 Southern Expressions for Saying Goodbye

As a get-­together winds down, some guests unwittingly overstay their welcome. I believe in erring on the side of "under-­staying" – i.e. always leave...
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10 More Things You’ll Miss About the Deep South

There is an imaginary line, but very real border, that runs from the Virginia Tidewater to West Texas. Above this line there are “you...
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50 Southern Proverbs to Teach Wisdom, Experience

Both the Southern dialect and idioms are largely based on late Elizabethan English and the languages of West Africa. Proverbs are the capsules of...
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48 Southern Exclamations For Happy, Startled and Angry Reactions

Many mothers and grandmothers will not use swear words, or even say the word “swear” ­ hence the term “swannie.” You'll find the number...